Why You Shouldn't Spy on Mr Lancer's Class
by JuneLuxray
Summary: Principal Ishiyama bugged the classrooms...What will she hear when it's tuned to Mr. Lancer's classroom, while Danny's showing them something? One-shot. 'T' for extremely suggested content. XD Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Principal Ishiyama smiled. She had bugged the classrooms, so she could hear what was going on. Right as she switched to a different classroom's, it happened to be Mr. Lancer's.

Danny's voice came through.

"I have something for you guys to see!" Zipping sounds.

"Wow!"

"Cool!"

"I wish I had one as big as that..."

"I didn't know they could get that big!"

"Something that long and big can't be natural..."

"Wow, it's very smooth-surfaced!

"Mr. Fenton! How on Earth do you make it that long?!"

"Wow, it's bigger than Dash's!"

Principal Ishiyama stared at the speakers. They...They couldn't be talking about...No...Not possible.

"How do you USE that thing?!"

"Isn't that a drag to carry around?"

Principal Ishiyama froze. Uh-uh...This...This just wasn't possible!

"Can I touch it, Danny?"

"Of course, Paulina. It's here for your pleasure to examine."

"Ha. I get to see that everyday..."

"Fine, show off, why don'tcha, Sam?"

"Can I use it?"

"Not a good idea. It's so big, it might destroy the classroom."

"How about out in the woods?"

"Maybe later, if my schedule allows."

"Wow, you must be busy with that thing."

"Woah! How...Do...You...Lift...This...Thing...?!"

"It took hours and hours of work to make..."

"No kidding."

"It's mutated!"

"Who cares? It's BIG."

"Long, too, but we've mentioned that already."

"You should paint it a new color...Wait! Paint it so it looks like it has flames on it!"

"Ooh, yeah!"

"What do these round parts do?"

"It holds ammo."

"Your parents must be so proud."

"Oh, they are, Mr. Lancer..."

Principal Ishiyama was frozen in her seat.

"Well, anyways- especially the girls- it's here for your pleasure."

"Lemme take a photo of it!"

"That picture's MINE, Star!"

"Get your own, Paulina!"

"Woah. It's bigger than a football field..."

"Almost, Dash."

"Well, let's go out and demonstrate how it's used, shall we?"

Principal Ishiyama left her office and was dashing to Mr. Lancer's room, to stop Mr. Fenton- before opening the door and freezing at the scene.

Paulina and everyone else had their hands on the large ectogun, to examine it and feel the smoothness of it's surface. Everyone turned and looked at the principal.

"Excuse me, Mrs. Ishiyama. Is there anything wrong?" Danny asked, a bit confused. "N-no...Uhm...Just wanted to check on you!" She said, and ran out.

The group all stared at her trail of smoke out the door. Mr. Lancer shrugged.

"Wha'd she think we were doing?" Mr. Lancer asked.

**I don't own DP! This, for some reason, came to me during a boring session of one of my subjects I'm terrible at- Algebra. How it inspired this, I'm not sure.**


	2. Chapter 2

Principal Ishiyama tuned in again to Mr. Lancer's class.

Dash's voice came out.

"For the holidays, I made you guys something I love to take out for the seasons that everyone seems to love."

"Ooh, what?" Came Paulina's voice.

"My balls."

Principal Ishiyama spat her drink out.

"Ooh, they're quite big!"

"I must say, they're a tad misshaped..."

"That because they sat on a hot stove top for too long."

"How do you get them so round?"

"Oh, using plastic molds."

Principal Ishiyama stared, hardly noticing she spat out her drink.

"Gosh, Dash! You should show those all year!"

"Y'think?"

"Take the wrap off of them. They're prettier when the wrap isn't on them."

"They're made out of certain ingredients...Not always easy to get..."

"What if you made one smothered in peanut butter?"

"Ooh, I need to try that..."

"Mmm, balls..."

"They don't happen to have alcohol in them, do they?"

"Nope. Don't worry."

"I bet you got them from the football team..."

"No, they're my own recipe."

"Well, I like the size of them..."

"I can put them in a sack for you, if you want."

"Ooh, I need a ball sack."

"Ooh, they break easy."

"Can't wait to get my mouth around one."

Principal Ishiyama dashed out the door into Mr. Lancer's class again.

What she saw was Dash Baxter offering bags of_ popcorn balls_ for the class. Some had caramel poured over them. The class turned to her. "Um, is there anything wrong, Mrs. Ishiyama?" Dash asked. She shook her head and ran out the door.

Mr. Lancer stared. "Why does she keep doing that lately?"

**XD I should be ashamed for writing this. Anyhow, I don't own DP, and this was based off a SNL sketch- which I also don't own SNL or the sketch.**


	3. Chapter 3

Principal Ishiyama, not learning a thing from the last two times, tuned to Mr. Lancer's class again.

PLOP! She heard Sam drop two heavy things.

"Wow!"

"OHEMGEE!"

"THEY'RE HUGE!"

"AND SO ROUND!"

What the...? Principal Ishiyama thought. What are they talking about?

"Hehe. I love seeing those in Sam's room."

"Fenton, you're lucky, man."

"Are they fake?"

"Duh."

"When did you have them made?"

"Oh, about two weeks ago."

"Dang. Was the person who made them good?"

"Yeah, he has good skills for this. Especially when using them.

"Are they plastic?"

"Nope!"

"WOAH!"

"How do you carry them around? They're heavier than Danny's ectogun..."

"How much are they worth?"

"About five thousand each. I charge you one hundred dollars for the use of either one."

"Oh, c'mon...Fenton gets to play with them for free. One free demo?"

"Ohh...Alright...Go ahead and play with 'em for free. But just this once. Boys, try not to break them."

"YAYYYY!"

Principal Ishiyama dashed into Mr. Lancer's class again- to see Sam had two large golden bowling balls made, which were being picked up by Dash and Danny. She looked up at Principal Ishiyama. "Is there anything wrong, Mrs. Ishiyama?" Sam asked, a bit confused. This time the principal didn't say a word, and fled.

"Okay, why does she keep coming in here?!" Danny asked aloud.

**No, I'm not a boy, I'm a girl. Thus I cannot be Butch Hartman. So, I don't own Danny Phantom.**


	4. Chapter 4

Maddie and Jack decided to bug Danny's room to hear what he was doing. They called it studying the habit of teenagers.

Really, it was spying. But, they tuned in anyhow to listen to Sam and Danny in his room...

"Perfect surface right here..."

"I know. I actually smoothed it out for us."

"Yep. Hand me the rubber glove, please."

"Why? We don't need it..."

"I don't trust Tucker when he says it's sanitary."

"Alright, fine. Nice job. Now, where do we put these two round things...?"

Maddie and Jack stared at the speaker. They couldn't- wouldn't- be doing what it sounded like.

"Right in this little place."

"Ooh, fits like a charm. Alright, now this long piece goes over them?"

"Mhm."

"Hang on...It got stuck..."

"Let me fix it...Ahhh...*POP!* There. It's out."

"Alright, let's try that again."

Jack looked about ready to faint, Maddie was horrified.

"I hope Tucker doesn't kill us for breaking this and attempting to fix it..."

"Eh, he'll never hear about it."

"I hope so. Tucker can tell the slightest things wrong with it."

"Alright, so where do I place MY two big things...?"

"Right above my smaller big things."

"Dang, Sam. Your things are big."

"I know. Just for my sweet boyfriend!"

"Aw, thank you for not making me spend on them."

"No problem...Once we're done, this'll have a lot of energy."

"Oh, gimme a minute. I dropped 'em."

"Eh, no one cares."

"I'm worried about it breaking and leaking all over the carpet."

"Don't worry about it. Just finish this up..."

"Alright, almost done...There! It's in. We're finished."

Maddie and Jack got out of their frozen state and ran up, dropping the speaker. Getting to Danny's room, they thrust it open quickly...And froze.

Danny and Sam had just finished putting some different-shaped batteries into Tucker's PDA, and Danny was about to close the back of it. They looked up, confused at his parents.

"Uh, hey, mom and dad. What's up?" Danny asked. His parents took one long look at the PDA, before shaking their heads.

"Nothing. Nothing at all, Danny boy. Well, see you later!" Jack said, grabbing onto Maddie's wrist and pulling her out.

Slamming the door behind them, Maddie looked disgusted.

"This is the _last_ time we_ ever_ bug Danny's room..."

**Okay, so it's not Lancer's classroom, but it's funny anyhow in a sick way. Please review!**


End file.
